yup.... damn myself... and just to think I can do better for the exams.... I'm starting despice confident... It screwed my thoughts of my thinking and answering... Why do I have confident if the goal I seek it's just right in front of me?? WTF.... and I failed to see it... I'm so blind.... blind untill I keep seeing myself rotten to death in front of a mirror... keep hearing dead voices.. screaming in agony and suffering... it feels like one damn day... when that's the time there's someone is gonna stab me through my heart... It gives me the chills when I had visions or dreams... witness of my very own hard cold... slow , unbearable pain of suffering death... When there's a time I'll meet my maker , where hopefully he'll answer my questions... of this misguided being in existance... still , I beginning to feel no regrets of my actions... no mercy , no pity of it... that 'till one day , the gates of hell will open up for me...
so... if your reading this , I know what your thinking , i know what you feeling right now... disgusted , confused(keep questioning yourself) , or even get emotional about it... well... for your infomation... who would give a damn about me if I'm useless to anyone? well , please don't get upset , don't say that friends or family are important to me... it's the same excuse since when I was a young child... and yet... it's true... I've got nothing to say to against it... I felt damn useless right now... can't even think stright...
... what would happen to me in the future? well , isn't that one of the questions that god himself is forbidden to answer that right?
SO... for friends... better hurry up & work really hard .... BEFORE I DIE.......
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